First time

Today was a good day. I finally shot with Billy Monday, the photographer with whom I am doing a workshop on May 16 out in Chambersburg, PA in an incredibly awesome prison location. Goosebumps and all, we braved the cold and shot out in the woods and falls of Frederick, MD.

Then I headed to another shoot where I photocopied my butt for the first time ever. And the parts that get photocopied when you sit on a copier, and my bellybutton, and my boobs. Simple pleasures.

And finally, I drove to West Virginia for the first time in my life.

Now I am going to go to bed (not a first time thing for me).

Another photo by Tortured Artist.

Heartbreak in an e-mail

Today I got broken up with by a friend from high school. She does not approve of my current lifestyle, and does not want to be around to think about it. I am heartbroken.

Photo by Jon Duenas of Nashville. I still have not figured out what my face is doing, but I feel I look troubled.

Sleeping on the streets

A cancellation left my morning completely open, and I decided extra sleep would do me well. So here I am not shooting or sleeping. Clearly I am not destined to sleep in.

Instructed to head to La Taberna del Alabarder on my DC trip, Thursday evening I set out for a night of dining on tapas and drinks at the bar of my friend's old haunt. Evening meals when alone typically involve a book or journal as my companion. This evening I got so much more. A few sips into my martini a handlebar mustached man was in my face telling me of his walks across Europe, his sleeping on floors and how he intended on sleeping on the street that night. I am not sure if that is some sort of bizarre pick up line, with the hopes that I would offer him safe, warm place to stay, but if any of you run across this man, don't take your advice on how to deal with women from him. Fortunately I was rescued by a friend of my Houston photographer friend who sent me to the restaurant, and ended up enjoying a dinner with a couple of lovely girls my age and my friend's friend.

Two lovely photos by Domenic of Tortured Artist Productions. I have been familiar with his work since I began modeling a couple of years ago, and finally had the opportunity to shoot with him yesterday. He was every bit as wonderful to work with as I had envisioned, and I am thrilled with the results.

Sitting

I simply cannot sit any longer.
Sitting on a chair without underwear.
Sitting in a car going everywhere.
Sitting drinking coffee and going wonky.
Sitting here...writing bad poetry?

Suffice to say, I am ready to peel off my clothes and stretch.

I drove through Virginia to Washington DC today, and pondered why I did not set up any shoots in Virginia. Next time. There's always a next time.

Photo from a shoot with the awesome Anna Inez and the trip that taught me Ohio is not the ideal spring break destination.

Quirky for quirky's sake

Today I was reminded how much I like quirky things. I was waltzing through a store full of knick-knacks, a thrift/vintage/antique store in Raleigh, North Carolina, and saw an overwhelming number of items that I wanted for no particular reason other than to wear for a photoshoot because they interested me. Some of these clothing items may be considered ugly by most people, or completely impractical, but their bizarreness is what appealed to me.

Often my favorite images from a shoot will be those that have something a little different about them. A component or characteristic that draws a reaction from the viewer. The reaction does not always have to be completely positive, as I am convinced not all people respond the same way to art. Sure, a beautiful image will always be a beautiful image, and there are specific aesthetics to follow, but when it comes to a real piece of art, tastes and reactions will vary. When I mention on my MM profile about not needing to make pretty pictures, I speak the truth. With this idea in mind, I am posting a few photos I feel are a little bizarre and less than glamorous. I feel the first one belongs on the cover of a horror film.

I had the opportunity to introduce the amazing world of Trader Joes to a Trader Joes deprived Texan today. When I first moved to Texas from California, I was distraught when I learned this mecca of grocery stores was no where in the entire state, and that no one there even knew what it was. So as I write this blog entry, I am stuffing my face with snapea crisps - which must be healthy since they are in the shape of a pea pod and proclaim, "salad," on the container.

Photos by M in NYC from his electrocution series.

Scheduling

I am convinced creating the perfect schedule is never possible. First a trip seems too crammed, then too long. I recently extended a couple portions of my east coast trip. I would love to fill it all with shooting and exploration.

The cancellations in my trip have started to trickle in. These are to be expected with the job, but they never cease to disappoint me. Chances are if I have scheduled a shoot with one individual, I had to tell another person I was not available. For some reason certain dates and time become prime real estate for shooting. The temptation is to overbook to be sure a trip is adequately booked, but I refuse to risk working constantly and showing up exhausted. No one likes a model who really just needs to be sleeping.

Photo by Gary Bartoloni of The Light Registry. Faeries don't have worries, schedules, or work, do they?

On the fast track

So many cities, so little time. I recently had an epiphany about my east coast tour - in my efforts to not be gone excessively long and still make it up the coast to Boston, my personal touring time will be at a minimum. The temptation to rearrange my plans are strong. Should I stay and potentially have extra touring time, but arrive in Texas later than planned, or rush through with plans to return? The east coast is not going anywhere, I can always drive it, or fly there again. Yes, I'll welcome your advice.

With my always being on the move and not having had a permanent location since last May, aside from a big yellow couch in Houston, many people I meet ask me where I am living. My answer, "I"m a TexiCalifornian." I moved from California to Texas for graduate school and now I simultaneously have no home and yet keep being drawn back to Houston.

Photo by a good friend in Houston, KMannPhoto.

Today

Today was my designated sleep in day. So what time did I wake at? Seven in the morning after falling asleep after two.

Today was also my day to network for hours on end, but with photos not loading on Model Mayhem, this is an impossibility. There is no way to notify an abundance of photographers who may not even know you exist, let alone know you will be in their city, without some sort of mass e-mail, but I personalize mine. For everyone I e-mail, I look at their work so my words can be genuine. The part about my plans are straightforward and remains the same - there are only so many ways to rewrite this information - but anything I say about the work I have just viewed is true and directed specifically to the photographer and artist. I do not contact everyone whose portfolio I view - some photographers' goals do not align with my mode of modeling in any way. I want the results of my modeling to be art and something to be proud of, and know the people who chose to work with me are striving for the same. To me, this is what makes an art model.

Underwear

Pubic hair is like underwear. Or so it may be as far as functionality, but society will be first to disagree. A year and a half ago I largely ceased wearing underwear when I started modeling on a frequent basis, and had a boyfriend who himself didn’t wear underwear of any sort. When I grew out my “art model appropriate shrubbery” as I like to call it, I decided it was even more unnecessary. Now that warm weather has returned, I may need to reassess this decision or be rather careful. So if you see a petite model at the side of the street with her dress blowing in the wind, you may think she is sans underclothes, but in fact she is wearing the most natural underwear of all. Don't worry, mom, when home I will be wearing family appropriate attire.

This entry was inspired by my overly short dress of the day. When it comes to shooting and driving days, I pay little attention to the properness of the clothing I wear. It all comes off at the shoot, and in my car, well, no one sees me anyway. I tend to wear black leggings underneath, but we all know that long, deep clothing marks on skin makes for a big nuisance when it comes to photography.

Photo by ixxxix.

Inspired

My inspiration level is at a peak. I walked through the door of the ixxxix hotel clad in white vintage dress and knee high boots, what had just passed was part two of an incredible shoot.

Every shoot has a different energy. A photographer brings their ideas, skills, visions and energy to a shoot, and I bring myself – the actress, figure model, human form, and artist. We work work together with the environment, and lighting. I am adept at molding the presentation of myself as model to fit a photographer’s vision, as no one shoot requires exactly the same thing. To me modeling is a chance to create something powerful, an image with a story or beauty, an image with a purpose. Sometimes a photo studies form with light, sometimes it is pure art. My favorite shoots are those where photographer and I become storytellers - sometimes the connection is explosive.

My two day shoot was exactly that. I have now added to my list of modeling experiences and connections that epitomize what this is all about. Thank you Perry.

***

When I first started modeling I had no desire to have my face photographed. I was comfortable with my body and posed freely, but the very word, “headshot,” stiffened my expression. I had confidence in my body, as I am somewhat of an exhibitionist and nudist and put effort into my appearance with healthy eating and trips to the gym, so the fact that I was exposed to a camera did not phase me. I also knew my hair was pretty awesome. Instead, my vulnerability was induced by photos of my face. Within the past many months I made great headway in my transformation. I realized that there is beauty in my appearance and who I am, and that yes, my body may be photoworthy, but that there is much more to me as a person and model than just a nice form that knows how to twist and bend in pretty shapes. I am thrilled to be seeing the outcome of this newfound confidence.

Photo by Mike Caffrey, from our first day of exceptional shooting.

Missing

I left something in Texas.
I know I did.
My car may be overflowing, but something is missing.

Photo part of a series of reference photos for paintings by artist Howie Doyle.

On your mark, get set, go!

Tomorrow I leave. The countdown is over.
My three month journey shall begin.

I head to the east coast tomorrow morning.
My first few stops take me to Birmingham, Nashville, Atlanta and various parts of North Carolina. I still have some room for bookings and would like to be shooting constantly - what an experience that will be after my extended stay in Houston - but look forward to the expanses of road, the new environments, the couches, the world.

Photo by Dan Richards of Arlington, Texas.