7:13am woke up. Dallas was all around. A chilly, commercial Dallas – this is not judgment of the city on my account, just an accurate description of my current surroundings – wally world. Perhaps it was stupidity or stubbornness on my part, but I slept in my car in my “home base” last night. My arrival was 1:30 am, and I felt rude to ask someone to let me into their homes that late at night. I am sure a friend would have extended this generosity towards me, but I truly felt it was asking too much. With a car, I had some protection from the surprising below freezing temperature and any crazies who may have been wandering through the streets anyway.
Today I am supposed to check out the Landmark Forum. My siblings are incredibly involved in this program and had pressured me to take the course. My brother is one of the most pulled together individuals I know, even at 23 years old, and I figured if he found this course beneficial and not to be the scam it seems, then perhaps that could be true. Unfortunately I did not begin my research about the course until a couple of days ago, and now my mind is swarming with ideas about how this class may change me for the worse, disrupting my outlook on my life that I am in the process of molding. Forty hours of instruction without being allowed to write anything, look at my phone, leave to use the restroom when I desire or have any freedoms that I currently enjoy sounds a bit excessive. Three consecutive days of 13 hours of speaking to and at me sounds unbearable. Theoretically I have the option of getting the tuition back (my sister paid for this course for me as a Hanukah gift since she feels so strongly about the positive impact it had on her life and could have on mine) as long as I show up for the first bit of the course. If this is the case then I will be there to get her money back, for at this time I am not in the mindset to go through with this. But this could all change.
Not all traveling models are without a home base. Most models have a home somewhere and go on modeling tours periodically. While this is probably much easier to do, this is not the right route for me. With the travel bug in my system, I have an easier time comprehending paying for gas when I do not also need to pay for rent at home. If I knew where exactly I wanted to be rooted, and could do so for less than $350 a month, then I would be interested. Unfortunately, right now my last home was in Dallas, and I have no desire to continue living here, nor is it practical. I would love to live in San Francisco, and that could work in terms of location, but not logistics – the price tag there is simply too much. So how long will I keep being without a home? The answer to this I do not know. What I can tell you is that I love my job and current lifestyle and currently the end is not in sight.